We’re off on our holidays, but (groan) we are stuck in the airport because our plane has been delayed – again!
Perhaps it’s the jet lag setting in; maybe it’s the boredom – but my wife and I have decided that airport security questions such as “Have you packed these bags yourself, sir?” are pretty pointless and should be replaced with some far more interesting alternatives…
Do Airport Security Questions Work?
Ever since 9/11, airport security have – quite understandably – been going to great lengths to prevent any future terrorist outrages. They have had some mixed successes: Manchester airport have recently had to abandon a computerised facial recognition system after it rather embarrassingly confused a husband with his wife!
So at least there are those trustworthy security questions to fall back on…right?!
“Has anyone asked you to bring anything with you?” can be a tricky question to answer. What if your Great-Aunt Glenda had asked you to take a pot of her home-made pickle with you? Should you lie for the sake of speed, or be honest and have your bags emptied and examined?
It’s not that I am against improving airport security; but given the vast amounts of money invested, doesn’t it make more sense to see how well a system works before lobbing out the cash? X-ray scanners and electronic sniffer dogs may well sound sexy and make for a good news headline but their introduction is more-often driven by political motives than on evidence for saving lives…
The Alternative Questions Airport Security should Ask…
“If the plane were to crash, what would you like your last meal to be? Meat or Vegetarian?”
“Do you have a personal hygiene problem? Do you snore when sleeping?”
“If you packed your own bags… Will we find anything that you wouldn’t want your Grandmother to see?”
“Would you like a seat next to an old woman who snores or a teenager with a personal hygiene problem?”
Do you have any other questions or any amusing airport stories? Feel free to add your suggestions by commenting below or tweet your funny stories!
References:
Linos, E., Linos, E., & Colditz, G. (2007). Screening programme evaluation applied to airport security BMJ, 335 (7633), 1290-1292 DOI: 10.1136/bmj.39419.662998.BE
best response: Do I look like the sort of person that packs their own bag? (said in a snotty tone) Its rather distressing to have to admit that you did indeed pack your own bag, especially publicly!